What problems are millennials experiencing? Millennial Coach Simon Markx offers a solution.
The Dutch writer and psychologist Thijs Launspach wrote the book Working with Millennials. Through close study of his lectures and writings, I found out that many millennials struggle frequently with burnout. It is commonly believed among millennials that ‘anything is possible’.
This extends throughout all areas of life: career, studies, dreams, passions, physical appearance, love, happiness…and it goes without saying that the comedown from this after reality hits can be very bittersweet and leave us quite disillusioned.
It goes without saying that social media plays a big part here in promoting all kinds of impossible standards and depicting a seemingly ‘perfect’ life. Many people devote a lot of time, money and effort towards attaining this idea, when the whole time it is considerably out of the realm of possibility.
The unfortunate reality is that millennials will be less fortunate than their parents. Due to high expectations, they are often disappointed when they enter the job market.
This is only the beginning; then it is revealed that rents and mortgages are increasingly unaffordable; modern dating is a minefield; social life becomes a burden; maintaining health falls by the wayside; bills and expenses build up; starting a family is continually put off…the long held belief that happiness is feasible is incredibly damaging for mental health. The obsession with making everything ‘perfect’ in order to always be ‘happy’ is common among millennials, but it is neither a fruitful nor worthy pursuit.
How does Simon Markx practice Millennial Coaching?
First and foremost, I am interested in ensuring the restoration of personal strength, motivation, confidence and self-belief into millennials.
Through the GROW model as established by John Whitmore, I empower millennials to look broadly across the landscape of their lives and take stock of the possibilities while making peace with that which is immovable. I listen carefully and then explore to get to the heart of the problem. I believe it is essential to look critically at what is actually feasible for a young person; from here I then motivate them to realise their abilities to achieve the most without creating unrealistic expectations.
The best thing that happens in my practice is that millennials have epiphanies themselves, and sometimes cannot contain their elation. It is a joy to see someone who has worked hard and been prepared to be vulnerable and open, finally determine the solution. Often I know what it is, but it is paramount that the client come to it themselves; I merely guide them towards it. If I tell them, it becomes less powerful. It is also rewarding for me to see someone ecstatic as they themselves discover their panacea.
However, this does not happen overnight. It requires effort and introspection for someone to be able to come to such insights, but when they arrive at the answer themselves, the boost is of immeasurable value. Plus for myself as their coach, it’s really beautiful to see as someone feels like they’ve attained nirvana.
Successful Millennial Coaching
I coached a woman in her mid-twenties, who struggled tremendously with all kinds of irrational fears, especially about applying for jobs and being turned down. The fear of failure can be so crippling to the extent that many young people feel completely discouraged from even trying in the first place.
However, after three sessions with me, my young client now saw this process with fresh eyes; she was even enthusiastic about being rejected, declaring proudly as she left my practice aglow with happiness, how vital she now understood it to be. She now realised that it is not about personal rejection, and her outlook was therefore completely adjusted; no longer just the absence of fear but also a completely new motivation to put herself out there.
She’s now brave and confident enough to apply for her dream jobs and has complete autonomy over her own life; no longer allowing herself to be frightened or limited by negative thoughts. She thanked me and said, ‘the world is at my feet; I am going to fulfill my passions and dreams.’ As her coach, I was so grateful and humbled to hear.
To my great pleasure, I have completed the specialised Millennial coaching course at the Dutch Academy of Psychotherapy.
Challenges of the Millennial Generation
Every new generation that enters the job market faces its own unique challenges that are specific to its respective socioeconomic moment. The Millennial Generation (those born between 1980 and 2000) may have many opportunities before them, but this multitude of possibilities, coupled with the ever higher expectations placed upon them – and indeed that which they place upon themselves – can feel too overwhelming to navigate alone. I am here to assure you that you do not have to do it alone.
Find meaningfulness in your life
It can feel stressful to know that you are responsible for creating your life and happiness in the midst of a society that all too often leaves you behind and a media which bombards you with negative headlines about your generation and even the planet we live on. Naturally this makes many young people feel like they have failed before they even truly begin their lives, and it can feel tempting to give up and reconcile yourself to defeat. I am here to show you another way to find meaningfulness in your life and pursue happiness.
There are increasing and developing opportunities as the job market and the very nature of work itself evolves with the times, and the types of studies and degrees you can pursue change accordingly. Furthermore, many young people are becoming increasingly aware of the responsibility they have towards the planet and environment.
All of this, however, is the source of many of the triggers that cause panic and stress, insofar as some might see these evolving possibilities as positive, but for many, the changes feel more like fluctuations; full of instability, uncertainty and inconsistency. There is always an intense pressure to determine the most perfect, most ideal course of action when faced with a major choice: which degree to study, job to apply for, partner to seek; and so on and so forth through all of life’s most defining, pivotal moments.
Perfection is not attainable
It is propagated that perfection is vital and essential to our happiness and fulfillment – but the reality is, perfection is not attainable. Therefore, too many of us feel unhappy, unfulfilled and defeated. Such negativity is unnecessary and is merely the outcome of a fatally flawed outlook on life.
We can all agree that there is a lot resting on the shoulders of millennials, perhaps more than they are even aware of as individuals – but when the load is eased, or even lifted, they will feel undeniably lighter. From Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), quarter life crises, thirtysomething dilemmas; and in turn the Zoom yoga sessions, Whatsapp groupchats and countless social media apps which are supposed to alleviate these stressful phases; the daily grind of Millennial life is constant and can sometimes feel unbearable.
People have many ways of coping with this, but not all of them are healthy and some are even dangerous. For some of us, we bury ourselves in work or studying; we devolve into manic exercising or fall into disordered eating habits in an attempt to feel some sense of control in our increasingly uncontrollable lives; we can even become victims of addiction, to drugs, alcohol, sex, you name it; these are all forms of numbing oneself, inadvertently distracting oneself from the actual problems by creating new ones.
However, there are of course also possibilities of less severe outcomes. Most common is burnout, which many people suffer in their twenties and thirties. This is often an accumulation of the aforementioned stresses. Short term interventions from a qualified coach may be necessary to identify, define and solve the relevant issues: the aspects of your life that create imbalance as a result of key problematic moments.
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